Day of Delinquency
by UglyGreenJacket
Summary: One Shot written for the Valentine's Day UsaMamo Fanwork Exchange on Tumblr. Usagi's fun day of riding around on Haruka's bike takes a surprising turn that ends with her in jail. How will Mamoru deal with his girlfriend being newly cemented as a delinquent? Pure, silly fluff to end all fluff!


_AN: I wrote this silly piece of fiction for my giftee, lunapress, over on tumblr, and she had a couple of really specific requests that I_ STRUGGLED _with. The result is this ridiculous one shot that is ahead of you! And to lunapress, I'm sorry I couldn't make your Terrace House wish come true, but hopefully this little spin Usagi has as a delinquent will make you smile 33_

 _A huge thank you to my beta FloraOne for putting up with my petty, writer's block whining for the past three weeks! I promise I'll finish that birthday fic of yours before we turn 100!_

 _Oh! Also, this is definitely based on the 90s anime characterizations, so Haruka identifies as female for the purposes of this fic._

 _Let me know what you think!_

 _oOo_

Usagi had never considered herself to be a thrill seeker, but quite frankly, she was bored.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost on her. She knew she'd spent the last two years wishing for nothing more than a normal life. But now that the danger was gone and Chaos defeated (at least for the foreseeable future), the defender of love and justice _missed_ the action and excitement it brought to her life.

So, when Haruka had offered her an afternoon ride around the city on her bike, Usagi had jumped at the idea, rushing home as quickly as she could from the Crown to grab her brightly colored, bunny helmet that Mamoru had bought for her to wear when they rode on his bike.

And when she heard the roar of the engine, when it pulled up outside her house, Usagi had whooped in delight, nearly tripping over her own feet as she ran out the door.

She loved spending time with Haruka. The senshi had always been like a protective, older sibling to Usagi, and while it could occasionally border on the possessive, she knew Haruka always had her best intentions at heart.

"You ready, Koneko?" she'd asked Usagi, while the rabbit climbed on behind her as gingerly as her exuberance would allow.

"Ready!"

Haruka turned around slightly to wink at her. "Hold on tight."

They sped through the streets of Juuban, Haruka weaving through traffic in all sorts of illegal ways, but Usagi didn't care. She squealed in delight every time they'd make a quick turn down a narrow alley, or cut across numerous lanes of traffic in order to get ahead, and she'd giggled even harder when she felt the rumble of Haruka's laugh through her arms that were clutched around her friend's waist.

It was a glorious spring day, and Usagi couldn't have imagined a better way to spend it that didn't involve Mamoru wearing no clothes, so she soaked up every minute of the bright, warm sun on her skin, the hustle of the city around them, and the breeze rustling through the streamers of her hair that trailed behind them.

Everything was perfect. That was, until the blare of a siren sounded behind them, and Usagi saw flashing lights reflecting off of Haruka's helmet while she mumbled an almost inaudible, "shit."

Haruka pulled the bike over the side of the road, shutting it off, and balancing the weight of it on her left leg. She pulled off her helmet, and hissed to Usagi, "Lay low, Odango. Please."

Usagi huffed, but stayed quiet and mostly still, only reaching up to remove her helmet, so she could properly glare at the offending officer for ruining her fun afternoon.

The officer approached them with a laid back swagger that created an urge in Usagi to roll her eyes that was stronger than it had been since the days when Mamoru acted like a two year old anytime he interacted with her.

The officer was middle-aged, tall, with brown hair that had the slightest specks of gray around his temples. He walked slowly, a satisfied smirk on his face, and aviator glasses perched on his nose that he seemed to have bought because he thought that's what police officers were supposed to do.

"License and registration, please," he drawled out, taking his glasses off with a dramatic flare and eyeing them up and down, as he reached into his back pocket to pull out his notepad.

"Of course, officer," Haruka said smoothly, reaching into the front of her jacket to retrieve her wallet. She pulled out the requested documents, and stretched her hand out to pass them over to the man.

He examined them for a moment, before he let out a snort, followed by a not so quiet, "don't look much like a lady to me."

Usagi sucked in a breath at his words, strong, hot anger boiling up in her faster than it had in quite some time. "Excuse you?!" she blurted out before her brain could even hope to catch up with her anger.

"Usagi-" Haruka started, but Usagi had already climbed off the bike, her helmet thudding to the ground as she scrambled up to the man.

"How _dare_ you say something about my friend like that. No! How could you say something so rude to _anyone?!_ "

The officer's eyes grew large, as Usagi's finger poked him in the chest as she craned her head back to look up at him. "Miss, I suggest you get back on the bike-"

"Haruka is one of the most beautiful women I know! And it doesn't matter if she doesn't happen to dress in a way that you deem as 'feminine!' It's because of ignorant people like you that little kids grow up with such distorted views of themselves! I bet you're one of those ' _men',"_ she brought her fingers up to put the word in the most sarcastic air quotes she could manage, "who doesn't have the balls to show his feelings, aren't you?!"

When she paused to take a breath, Usagi noticed just how red-faced the officer had become, as he'd frozen in place while she'd ranted. "Uh, sir? Are you ok?" she asked, head tilted slightly to the side in concern.

He quickly closed his notepad and stuffed it back into his pocket, placing his sunglasses back on his face.

"You two are going to take a little trip downtown with me to the station," he said smugly, grabbing Usagi and Haruka by the arm, dragging the later off her bike, and towards his cruiser. "Maybe you can reflect on the kind of respect a law enforcement official deserves on the way there."

"What?!" Usagi yelled shrilly, while Haruka winced and sighed frustratedly. "What did I do?!"

"It's called threatening a police officer, sweetheart," he replied, as he roughly shoved them into the back of his car, but Usagi was far from done being angry.

"Last I checked, someone has to GIVE respect in order to earn it, mister!"

The officer climbed into the front seat, turning around to look at them through the bars that separated the front of the car from the back. "I'm going to need you to keep it down, please."

Usagi pressed herself up against the barrier. "Keep it _down?!_ Do you know who I am?! I swear to god, in the name of the moon-"

But the rest of her signature phrase was silenced by Haruka's hand slamming painfully over her mouth. "Cut it out, Odango," she seethed, before plastering a bright smile on her face and turning towards the officer. "We're very sorry, officer."

 _oOo_

Usagi clutched the bars of hers and Haruka's tiny cell, a weak, slightly embarrassed smile on her face. "Hi, Mamo-chan," she said sheepishly, "Hi, Michiru."

The aqua-haired woman smiled and rolled her eyes affectionately at the pair, while Mamoru looked around nervously, as if he were afraid someone might recognize him.

"Usako, how on earth did you end up here?" he whispered, once he'd reached her.

"Why are you whispering, Mamo-chan?" she asked loudly, confused at her fiance's actions.

"I think Mamoru is just concerned about the circumstances that led to the two of you being in jail, Usagi-chan," Michiru offered, as she continued to smirk elegantly at Haruka.

Usagi rubbed the back of her neck, giggling as she stuttered out, "Uh, w-well, that's a...funny story, really…"

Haruka walked up to join her princess at the bars. "Koneko here," she began and elbowed Usagi playfully in the ribs, "was just trying to defend my reputation by insulting an officer's genitals."

Mamoru's jaw fell open. "You _what?!_ "

"It wasn't my fault, Mamo-chan! Honest! We were just riding on Haruka's bike, and we were _maaaybe_ going a little fast, and then-"

An officer appeared in that moment, giving Usagi a brief respite from having to explain herself any further, as they were allowed out of their cell on the promise that they would appear in court when the time arrived for their cases to be heard by a judge.

"Why were you riding on Haruka's bike?" he asked after they had said goodbye to Haruka and Michiru. Well, Usagi had said goodbye that is. Mamoru had only managed a weak wave in their general direction.

"Because it's so fun! And it was such a nice day!"

" _I_ have a bike. Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Because you drive like a _grandma_ , Mamo-chan! You _never_ speed, you _always_ use your blinker, and you don't weave in and out of the lanes like Haruka does!"

He glared back at her. "Well, excuse me for being a law abiding citizen," he said, gesturing his arm towards the vehicle he had arrived at the station on, his bike. "Your boring chariot awaits."

Usagi hung her head slightly, a blush coloring her cheeks. "I don't have my helmet with me, anymore-"

But before she could finish, Mamoru's helmet was thrust on to her head. "You can use mine," he replied, smiling at her for the first time since he'd arrived to get her.

She smiled back, her happiness apparent, even though her mouth was completely covered by the plastic of the helmet, and she watched as Mamoru went around the back of the bike, opening the small compartment there to pull out the spare helmet that he, of course, kept in case of emergencies.

Usagi rolled her eyes at his antics, while they both climbed on the temporarily stationary bike, and he turned to whisper familiar words that she'd heard for the second time that day, "Hold on tight."

But these words, coming from him, sent tingles down her spine, and she obliged him without hesitation, wrapping her arms around him, and gripping his midsection as if her life depended on it.

And as the engine roared to life, and Mamoru drove through the streets of Tokyo in his usual, grandmother-esque ways, Usagi realized that although she loved riding with Haruka, there was something all consuming about having her thighs pressed against Mamoru, and the feel of his tight stomach underneath her hands.

"Maybe you're not so boring after all!" she called to him, hugging him tightly, before she felt the bike accelerate off into the sunset.


End file.
